20 July 2019

LOOK: The best of you


dress Asos, shoes Gedebe, handbag Chloe, earrings Swarovski

cream La Roche Posay, foundation L´Oreal, mascara Revitalash, eyebrows Benefit, bronzer Tom Ford, lipstick Sephora, eyeliner Kiko
Yesterday was the day I wore this dress for the first time and caused a commotion. In the bad way. After this kind of all saying look, the long-swallowed expected comment came after time. It changed my whole evening to something that is difficult to describe in words. But maybe this word would be a good description. Sadness.

This dress is too short. You're too fat. Would you not like losing weight? Don’t you want to do anything about it? The color doesn't suit you. The neckline is too low. Lipstick too red. Clothing too tight. What are you wearing... it doesn't end.

I have to listen to all these comments from my close surroundings. Enough. It is my thing. My body. My personality. My face. My breasts. My world. Leave me alone and let me live. To live and do my own thing. To be happy, to by satisfied with myself, not to look for any mistakes on anybody on anything. If everybody lived that way, how would it be? Better? Better.

Why do people tend to deal with something unrelated to their lives. When do people learn to give compliments? When will they stop insulting, criticizing, looking for something wrong on others. When will people buy this imaginary mirror? And can they buy it anywhere? For what price? For the price of self-criticism? When will people be people? Walk through the streets, smile, hand out compliments instead of hate, buy flowers, give love, positive energy, something good from themself that I believe everyone has. They just do not know about it yet.

Also giving compliments is beautiful. Especially when a woman gives it to a woman. Sometimes it happens to me that the compliment comes back in a second. I'm not expecting it, I'm not doing it for some foolish reason, I'm not planning it, it's not a strategy, it's kind of natural to me. The returned compliment surprises and somehow warms me up inside and can change the whole day. It is like a blooming gift that scents in the soul like lavender. Long long.

The compliment that got me into my knees was from a woman. From a beautiful mature woman. I think it was a handbag that enchanted me at that time, but the answer I received was a compliment, which no other compliment could beat. And it wasn't an answer, it wasn't even a question. It was originally just a monologue, a sentence that had a dot and was about to end. However, it was my compliment, the compliment of the day, of the century and maybe it will sound forever - you have something much better. I don't remember her name. I only remember the handbag, that day, the sparkling champagne that rustle in my ears, her hair, her voice and how is she saying...

Včera bol ten deň, kedy som mala na sebe tieto šaty po prvýkrát a spôsobili teda riadny rozruch. V tom zlom slova zmysle. Po všetkohovoriacom pohľade prišiel po čase aj dlho polykaný očakávaný komentár. Zmenil celý môj večer na niečo, čo sa ťažko popisuje slovami. Ale možno jedno výstižné by tu bolo. Smútok.

Tie šaty sú príliš krátke. Si príliš tučná. Nechcela by si schudnúť? Nechceš s tým niečo robiť. Farba ti nesedí. Výstrih je príliš hlboký. Rúž príliš červený. Oblečenie je príliš obtiahnuté. Čo to máš na sebe... nemá to konca.

Toto všetko musím počúvať od svojho blízkeho okolia. A dosť. Je to moja vec. Moje telo. Moja osobnosť. Moja tvár. Moje prsia. Môj svet. Nechajte ma na pokoji a žiť. Žiť a robiť si svoje. Mať sa rada, taká aká som, byť so sebou spokojná, nehľadať na sebe neustále chyby. Keby to vedelo viac z nás. Aké by to bolo? Lepšie? Lepšie.

Prečo majú ľudia tendenciu zaoberať sa niečím, čo s ich životmi nesúvisí. Kedy sa ľudia naučia dávať komplimenty? Prestanú urážať, kritizovať, hľadať na tom druhom stále niečo zlé. Kedy si ľudia kúpia to imaginárne zrkadlo? A dá sa vôbec niekde kúpiť? Za akú cenu? Za cenu sebakritiky? Kedy budú ľudia ľuďmi? Chodiť ulicami, usmievať sa, rozdávať komplimenty namiesto hejtov, kupovať kvety, dávať lásku, pozitívnu energiu, niečo dobré zo seba, ktoré verím každý aspoň trochu má. Len o ňom ešte nevie.

Rozdávať komplimenty je také krásne. Zvlášť, keď ho dá žena žene. Občas sa mi stane, že sa mi kompliment v sekunde vráti. Nečakám naňho, nerobím to z nejakého líščieho dôvodu, neplánujem ho, nie je to stratégia, ide to zo mňa tak nejak prirodzene. Vrátený kompliment neskutočne poteší a prekvapí a zahreje a tak nejak celkom zmení deň. Je ako rozkvitnutý dar, ktorý v duši rozvoniava ako ako levanduľa.

Kompliment, ktorý ma dostal do kolien, bol ako inak od ženy. Od krásnej inteligentnej zrelej ženy. Myslím, že to bola kabelka, ktorá mi v danú chvíľu učarovala, ale tá odpoveď, ktorú som dostala, neprekonala žiaden iný kompliment a nikdy ani neprekoná. A nebola to odpoveď, nebola to totiž ani otázka. Bol to pôvodne len monológ, veta, ktorá mala bodku a mala tak skončiť. Avšak. Bol to môj kompliment, kompliment dňa, storočia a možno bude znieť naveky – vy máte niečo oveľa lepšie. Nepamätám si jej meno. Pamätám si len tú kabelku, ten deň, to perlivé šampanské, ktoré mi šumí v ušiach, jej vlasy, jej hlas a to ako hovorí...



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